Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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