How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
