so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
