this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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