Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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