I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
