I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
