Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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