I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
