I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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