Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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