Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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