i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
