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• (607): View more from New York

  You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.

  Fav 23 3385 1091

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.

  (360): View more from Washington

  I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.

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• (716): View more from New York

  He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.

  Fav 22 1325 7330

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?

  Fav 22 1382 11184

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.

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• (559): View more from California

  And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.

  Fav 4 939 1597

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• (925): View more from California

  My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage

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• (352): View more from Florida

  I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.

  Fav 0 432 662

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.

  Fav 4 718 485

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.

  Fav 0 71 19

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