We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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