bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
