You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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