hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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