My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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