My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
