whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
