Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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