my sisters under your porch take her home
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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