If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize