And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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