pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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