Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
