We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
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