Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
