After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
