I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize