honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
