What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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