whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
