gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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