There is no way he is gay with that hair.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
