i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
