I have demons in me.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
