Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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