i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She's the barista slut.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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