Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
