take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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