I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
