So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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