you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
