Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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