Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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