shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We need a shit load of segways right now
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
