Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It's Friday. Sex?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
