Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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