I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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