we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
