I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
