i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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