She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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