Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
