Ambien. No doubt about it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
