he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
