I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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