I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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