I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Mom said you looked used
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
