She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
