Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
